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He didn't care enough about me. I didn't want him enough. I don't know why, but it just wasn't right.- JamesShe agrees to the movie but she seems distracted. I pop the tape in and we watch for a bit. Suddenly she speaks up. "Dad? What do boys feel when they want to have sex?" The question comes out in a low voice that I can barely hear over the TV.I tense up a little bit and look over to Anna. She looks nervous. I exhale a bit and try to collect my thoughts. She's growing up so fast. It is only fair to let her know as much as I can. I wonder if this has something to do with the breakup with Mark. I try to force the image of her in the bathtub naked and touching herself out of my mind and answer her question like a father should."Mmm, how do boys feel? Well, it's like a pressure and a nervous excitement all at the same time. Your body feels all tense and ... electric. You are more sensitive to touch and sounds are a bit louder and lights are brighter. You can feel your heart thumping. “I’ll see you all about two on Saturday at the airport in Gaithersburg then. Love you all. Bye, now.”“Bye, Brenda. Love you, too.”Click. Brenda ended the call.“Wow. Well, at least she’s not out of control or anything. Nothing worse than an out of control lover with a gun and a badge!” Melinda thought her comment was funny. It took a couple seconds, but Jackie and I joined in.At one forty-five Eastern Time on Saturday, I parked the plane, the ground crew chocked it, and I ordered the refueling truck. I felt safer here, a bit, but not completely. We were very close to the epicenter of corruption in the world. Well, almost. Chicago could be worse, I guess. Or Ukraine, maybe, but neither by much.As I watched the refueling, the girls got overnight cases out and met Brenda as she walked toward the plane. My first thought was how she got through security and on the flight line, but ‘DING’ I remembered, she probably showed them her badge. The girls hugged her and they shared cheek kisses,.
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