Im glad i didnt. instead, like a zombie, i walked over to the door of my office and locked it. i sat back down behind my desk and gaped at it again. good god it was big. i was under a spell at that point. the kids mom started pleading with me then, aint there nothin you kin give the boy ta keep him from gittin so dang big, nurse? or carryin around so much o that cum in him? every time he lets go, up inside a girl, she ends up like me all swole up with 3 or 4 young-uns in her belly. an they caint seem ta help themselves neither nurse – they let him stick that big ole prong right up inside of em till he lets go with all that baby juice. theys too many young-uns around my house now, and they keep on comin. im gunna be an ole lady fore my time. the woman looked like she could cry, so i told her id need to have a closer look at it. you be careful now, missy. i seen the way you lookin at little luke. i promised nothing was going to happen and asked the boy to come around behind my desk. Of course in his distress he had not felt like having sex. She needed more than a physical presence: she needed a more attentive one centred on her. Would Angela be the same, have the same needs but in a different way?There were weeks and months when he had to work long hours out in the fields, basically all daylight hours, and they were long in summer. She would be alone with no one to talk to, no one to confide in. Would she end up getting in the car and going back to her friends and gradually needing them more than she needed him?That was it. It wasn't the isolation in itself, it was the need for her female friends and in fact for the whole of her friendship circle. He could not compete. Then there was the unrelenting routine of farming life, the early rising every day, year in, year out. He recalled the conversation about getting away for holidays. He never went away for holidays. Elaine was very good and could keep things ticking over, but she was nearing the end of her.
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