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It had been many weeks since I had sex with her, not since her last monthly, I knew that. Since that time Mary had--more sex than she wanted--or not enough to satisfy her, I didn't know which. I couldn't see into her mind. Maybe just as well. And oh yes, she had a little bastard planted in her during that time too. I wanted Mary, but I wanted to reject her at the same time, which boiled down to not knowing what I wanted.I realized that Mary had a head start on the drinks we were consuming. I had two before the ball dropped and she had three more. When I asked her how many she had altogether, she slurred, "Just enough to feel good and sexy. Don't you think I'm sexy, Dirky old boy?"I figured she was about in the same drunken condition as she was the night of the party when she got knocked up. All thoughts of sex with her left my mind. "Come on Mary, the new year is here and you're tired. Let me take you to bed so you can get some sleep." I left her sprawled in bed and went back out to. I Promise!"After about 3 weeks of looking, I was getting desperate I'd tried every place in the city. Ok well maybe not every place but it felt like it and I was getting nowhere. My money was dwindling and though I was only a week behind with the rent I could not see how I was going to get money. I was so desperate as I sat drinking coffee, reading the vacancies."Hey Toni, there's a woman comes in here says they are looking to hire at her place. You may not like it its Kissogram work. Says its good money though!" Ummmmmm not sure if I could do that though but give me the address and I will try it and see."Ok I had lived with a cowboy for over a year but really, I was still shy when it came to anything to do with the opposite sex. Desperation though is a great persuader. I didn't feel I could go back home; my mom was probably better off without me. Yes, I missed my mom more than I thought I would. Even cried myself to sleep at times wishing I was still at home. Plucking up the courage.
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