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She’d married young, to a then handsome man called Peter and for a while they’d been happy together, love’s young dream. Years passed, they had children, the children grew up and moved away and with it went the love and desire from their relationship. It seemed as if overnight her husband had lost all virility, turning into an old man before her eyes. She was no spring chicken herself but she had always made the effort, tried to look good. But for what? Peter certainly wasn’t interested anymore. They didn’t even sleep in the same room these days let alone make love. Sadly Della felt like she was withering away, she may as well have turned celibate… Yet there was another underlying fear and that was at the overwhelming urges that threatened to boil over and spill out from her. Dark urges, utterly debauched and dirty, ones that she could never share with Peter. So she went about her day to day drab existence, trying to block it all out until one day she caught sight of herself in. I think she quickly sensed that I was preoccupied, and she mercifully let me keep my thoughts to myself.I was thinking of Mom.I was still embarrassed that I’d walked in on her masturbating. I was even more embarrassed that I’d gotten an erection.It was wrong for me to have sexual thoughts about my mother. Wasn’t it?I didn’t want to have them, yet I did. I wanted to act out my fantasies with Mom. But that would be wrong. Wouldn’t it?Intellectually, I knew that it would be wrong. But that didn’t change the way I felt. And I was ashamed of the way I felt. But secretly, deep down inside, I enjoyed fantasizing about having sex with Mom.I knew, however, that any fantasies that I had would stay just that, fantasies. Mom would never have sex with me. It would be wrong. Wouldn’t it?Although...If Susan hadn’t been the one fondling me in the lake the day before, it must’ve been Mom. I wasn’t 100% convinced that Susan wasn’t pulling my leg, but still...Mom had been eyeing my erection as I got.
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